Friday, March 11, 2011

Another little taste

By the way, if you have a problem with Cool Hand's language, I totally understand.  Cool Hand is kind of an acquired taste.  But I hope you realize that some people talk that way, and that it's not an intentional effort to offend you.


I arrived at the hotel lobby, but before I ran outside, Mr. Haha intercepted me.  I could see lights and a general commotion of people out the windows, but I couldn’t make heads or tails of it.

“What happened to your costume?” he said, noticing my missing cowl and headgear.

I shook my head, “it was bothering me.”

“Nevertheless, you found it?” Mr. Haha asked me.

I waved the copper box.

“I’ll hide it,” the robot reached out for it, and I have to admit for a second there, I had trouble trusting him.  I hesitated long enough for Haha to cock his rabbit head a bit, but I relented and handed it to him.  He dug it into his kimono where it was incorporated into his hardware and as safe as we could make it.

“Now for the fun part,” he said and ran out with me close in tow.

Running outside, I felt what the ancient Roman gladiators must have felt as they walked into the arena of the coliseum.  A crowd had formed, though held back by dozens of police officers.  Some had hastily designed signs (including one that read “Apogee, show us ur tits”), others were betting and drinking and otherwise being rambunctious.  Two helicopters circled overhead, beaming us with their klaxon lights.  Several of the ‘guidos’ were hanging around the Rocket Flyer across the street.  They stood around, looking at us, waiting.

Ahead of me stood Dr. Zundergrub, surrounded by his motes which were in a panic from the lights, tearing at his lab coat.  Beside him was Cool Hand, who was yelling back at the crowd, working them up into a frenzy like a professional wrestler.

And beyond them, barring our way to the Rocket Flyer stood the Superb Seven.

Or rather, five of them stood.  Atmosphero floated in the air menacingly.  He’d done something to his suit.  It was busier, with not just one, but three capes that interloped to make one big one.  He looked straight at me, with a looming scowl on his face.  In all my worry about Apogee and Mirage, I’d forgotten about him.  I figured he’d be more careful this time.  He was amongst true powers now, so he could bide his time, and close in when he saw me in trouble with Apogee.

And speaking of Apogee, there she was.

She looked different in person, even taller, though dwarfed by Epic beside her.  Her costume was scandalous, dark blue, almost black spandex very tightly cut around her bikini line with yellow-gold trim a crimson wrapped belt that fluttered in the wind.  Her upper body was also dark spandex, tightly cut from her armpits to her neck, a push-up bra that threatened to spill her ample bosom.

Her long gloves and boots were also dark blue, as was the simple eye mask.  When we looked at each other, she glared, much like a wolf does to the chicken safely inside the chicken coop, letting the bird know what will happen if it dares venture outside.

Well, I had dared.

Her face was pristine, slightly tanned, with wide, full lips and a flawless jaw line.  Her nose was a bit too long, but fitting with the rest of her beautiful face.  There was a small scar under the bottom of her lip, and another beneath her chin, but they only made her look that much more alluring.  Apogee’s long blonde hair danced with the breeze.  Her face belonged on a Greek statue, and her body was a violation of the rules of nature, yet it was her eyes that were most fascinating.  They were striking, green-gray with tinges of hazel, and full of rage.  Like two belligerent viridian pools, both exquisite and deadly.

I glanced over at Epic a moment, and some of the others, but they didn’t catch my attention like she did.  Her glare was intoxicating, I couldn’t help myself.  Much like I had lost myself against Dr. Zundergrub, but this time there was no super power involved.

“I see only six,” Zundergrub said, and I saw that he was holding a small yellow mote.  It was childlike, almost like a human if not for the color and demonic features, and it was sleeping like a toddler would in its parent’s arms.  The doctor petted the beast, which slumbered, oblivious to the fight that was about to ensue.

Epic caught me staring at her, and it was clear that he didn’t like it.  He was a big fellow, far bigger than anything I’d ever seen before.  He looked like his body was about to explode in muscle, and was a head taller than me.  His muscular development and definition were disconcerting.  Epic seriously looked like if you pinched him with a needle, he’d pop like a balloon.  I knew that wasn’t the case, though, and fortunately he was facing off with Mr. Haha and not me.

If Influx had been with us, he would’ve faced off against her.

It was my second hero vs. villain group fight, and I started to notice how it was playing out.  First there was a stand-off, where the two groups filed in and squared off.  Basically, during this part, you chose your enemies and it kind of resembled when we were kids and the dance class teachers put the boys into one long line and the girls into another.  You’d count off to make sure you were in the same spot as the girl you liked, avoiding the girls you didn’t.

Except, by the time this encounter ended, people would surely be hurt or killed.

Superdynamic was next to Epic, also intent on Mr. Haha.  I suppose they saw him as the leader of the group, or the most deadly.  In a way, he was, with those weapons fashioned into his arms.  But I saw none of those super guns.  Mr. Haha had drawn his rusty old katana, and was just holding it to his side, unconcerned at the heroes that faced him.

While he didn’t have any powers, Superdynamic was a techie, kind of like me.  He had designed the suit he wore, which looked much like the spandex that Apogee, Epic and the others wore.  It was a power suit that allowed him to fly, enhanced his strength to superhuman levels, and I knew he could take a punch, due to an energy ablative shield.

Facing off against Cool Hand was Gamma Demon, a red spandex guy who I knew little about.  He wore a red-orange suit with a radiation warning on his chest.  Raw energy crackled from the gamma bands around his wrists, probably containing his radioactive power from killing all of us, including the spectators.  He looked pretty impressive, but Cool Hand was ignoring him, his attention instead on Apogee.

Across from Zundergrub was the sixth and last visible member of the Superb Seven, FTL.  He wore a full set of futuristic powered armor, glowing with some strange radiating phosphorescence, and a full helm that obscured his face.  FTL was a flier, like Superdynamic and probably Gamma Demon and his suit seemed to thrum with power.  I knew even less about him than all the others.

The missing man was Mirage, and I had surmised that might be his trick.  I know I had devoted most of my research to Apogee, ignoring most of the Superb Seven, but I was aware of his power repertoire and his strategies.  In addition to being able to cloud the minds of others with his namesake tricks, he liked to start a fight invisible, out of reach.  He only made himself known when the fight was near over, instead spending his time obfuscating others and concealing his companions.  People would be standing in front of you one second, behind you the next, then you’d get creamed from where they actually were, a totally different direction.
Not only were we outnumbered, but their powers seemed to work against us very well.  They had enough brawny guys to keep us busy, and a few tactical guys to sit back and take us down.  It was pretty clear they were counting on Atmosphero and Gamma Demon to drop us.

As a matter of fact, I saw Atmosphero ease back as Epic and Superdynamic conferred. FTL stepped in front of Gamma Demon and stood off against Cool Hand.  So the way it was going to go down was a brawler against each one of us, with two ranged hitters taking their shots, probably helping FTL first, since he was the least experienced of the Superb Seven.  All the while, Mirage would be making life impossible for us with his mental tricks.

And it was up to me to ruin their plan.  I was responsible for clearing areas with my explosive, concussive and gas arrows.  I had to do something to stop them from mowing over us effortlessly.  Zundergrub could probably beat FTL one on one, but he’d have three people in his face at the start of the fight.  I doubted even his secret yellow mote could help him there.  Cool could make life impossible for Superdynamic, but I didn’t think he could beat him outright.  Maybe frustrate him with his speed, get a good lick or two in, but no more.  Haha I didn’t think could last against Epic.  Knowing he was fighting a robot, Epic wouldn’t restrain himself.  He’d use his unearthly strength to rip the rabbit apart as soon as he got his hands on him.  Haha was full of surprises, and maybe he’d use that plasma cannon that had damned near ripped me in two.  I could still feel the pain from that weapon coursing through my stomach.  But Haha wouldn’t open up with the big guns.  It wasn’t his style.  He’d wait until later, until he could think of a good line.

Cool walked closer to Apogee, but not too close to draw her ire, “Hot damn, baby.  You got it all going on.”
She ignored him, her attention devoted to me.

“I’m not kidding,” he continued, patting his bat.  “Have you ever done the Spider or the Golden Gate?  You look flexible enough.”

Her eyes flared, leaving me for just a moment and regarding the little man with a ferocious glare.

“Enough!” Superdynamic shot in.

“Hey, I’m working on something here.  Get in fucking line,” Cool snapped at Superdynamic.  “What about the Mexican Horseshoe?  We’d need three hookers, a bottle of corn syrup, a sack of flour, a socket wrench and a donkey with a ski mask.  But trust me when I tell you it’s-“

“You little shit,” Apogee said, stepping forward losing her cool, but Superdynamic stepped in front of her, not wanting the fight to start on our terms.

“I said leave the lady alone, asshole!”

Cool stepped back, smiling.  That was his way, to get people off guard with his rude banter.  Get them off their game, then strike.  We just had to watch him, and follow his lead.  It was weird, but I was starting to get comfortable with the group, getting to know their tricks.

I looked over at Epic, who was looking at us with a smug smile on his face, standing in perfect “hero” pose.  He had nothing to fear from us, in fact, Epic was more concerned with a few news cameras among the crowd.

“You pricks have one chance, and one chance only,” Superdynamic said.  “Surrender and you won’t get beat down.  We got the numbers, we got the power.  And you know this.”

“And if we do not surrender?” Mr. Haha said.

“It’ll hurt,” Epic said.

“But you won’t like it,” Superdynamic added.  “So what’s it going to be?”

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